“And Lot’s wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned into a pillar of salt. So it goes.”
—Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five (via likeafieldmouse)
Baptised in dirty water
i’ve been worried lately, about you leaving.
i don’t know why-
i think i just need the realness of your body next to mine.
that night we were honest;
you said i was too sensitive,
i said that i just wanted you to treat me like a person.
i’ve been worried lately, about you touching me,
or not touching me.
hey, baby- call me back.
i cry easy, it’s true.
when i’ve had a long day or
i am missing someone and my body hasn’t realized it yet.
it’s just that, i spent so many years being proud
that i couldn’t.
i think i just need to remind myself that i don’t have to wait for the breaking,
or the rain.
here i am, with the leaking.
i’ve been worried, lately,
about holding myself together.
“The worst part about anything that’s self destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.”
—L.L (via fleurthorn)
I guarantee you my life consists of at least 15 of the above on a weekly basis. My friends and I also have an unspoken tradition of all middle fingers out the car window when we pass the giant statue of Sam Houston on our way to Huntsville. I love you, Texas.
“Although many writers had had periods of significant depression, mania, or hypomania, they were consistently appealing, entertaining, and interesting people. They had led interesting lives, and they enjoyed telling me about them as much as I enjoyed hearing about them. Mood disorders tend to be episodic, characterized by relatively brief periods of low or high mood lasting weeks to months, interspersed with long periods of normal mood (known as euthymia to us psychiatrists). All the writers were euthymic at the time that I interviewed them, and so they could look back on their periods of depression or mania with considerable detachment. They were also able to describe how abnormalities in mood state affected their creativity. Consistently, they indicated that they were unable to be creative when either depressed or manic.”
The relationship between creativity and mental illness – a fascinating study based on writers from the prestigious Iowa Writers’ Workshop. Kurt Vonnegut was among the subjects. (via explore-blog)
Today, I am grateful for this. I had to cancel my appointment to see my doctor tomorrow and this was something I wanted to discuss but had been feeling anxiety over; I felt as though I could not find the right words. This helps so much.
- [dubstep plays]
- me drunk at a party: this music has, like, no saxaphone